her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You ruined the universe
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
