I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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