We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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