What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
