Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
