I feel great
I just peed on a car
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
