Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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