So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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