And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
