There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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