I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
