and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
