so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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