Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
