The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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