He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
