I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
