you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
