She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
