I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
