Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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