You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
