she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
