I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
