They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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