its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
