I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
