just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
