just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
