Non-Jews are for practice
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize