i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
