What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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