Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
