this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize