please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
