who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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