Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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