I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
