we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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