last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
