Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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