JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
