here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
