8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize