Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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