Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
false alarm. still invincible.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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