return my video game
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
