She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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