Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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