you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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