Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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