the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
