I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
