First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That was before I lit my hair on fire
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
