All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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