I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
