well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize