1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
