Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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