Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
