is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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