Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I had to cum in my sink.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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