I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
