11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
