used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The adults are the big ones right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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