Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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