oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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