I need help removing her.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
