Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
