i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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