new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
