So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
