I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
