Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
