i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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