no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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